Where I went to mourn my miscarriage

December 2022 / Kislev 5783

Dear friend,

A few months after the Supreme Court overturned Roe v. Wade, I opened my email to find this message:

“Mayyim Hayyim will always be a safe place to mark an abortion, whatever the circumstances.
Many in our community are righteously angry and ready to fight for our rights.” 

This blew me away.

My husband and I have been trying to have children. Last summer I got pregnant, but the fetus was not viable and I miscarried.

As a family medicine doctor, I’m usually the one performing medication abortions. This time, I was the patient. My body healed, but I was numb. I needed something to mark the pregnancy I’d lost. So when I got that email, I thought, “maybe I should go to the mikveh.”  

I had immersed at Mayyim Hayyim once before, as part of my conversion to Judaism; it was a special experience but I didn’t know that I’d ever go back. Then that email called to me.

I waded into the waters of the mikveh with a heavy heart, alone with my grief. But I found comfort in the words of Mayyim Hayyim’s ritual ceremony for mourning a miscarriage:

“I mourn today for the one who could have been and grieve deeply for the loss of that potential life.” 

The ceremony aligned with my hopes and dreams. I felt seen. The fact that Mayyim Hayyim is publicly in support of a woman’s right to choose struck me to my core and made me proud of my Jewish values. 

This is why I support Mayyim Hayyim. Please join me in making a generous gift to this spiritually grounded and ethically responsible resource.  


Rebekah R., M.D., Mayyim Hayyim Guest 


  • Mayyim Hayyim currently has limited availability for immersions while we undergo construction to repair damage incurred to the building following the extreme cold on February 4. 

    To support our repairs and bolster your local community mikveh, donate to our campaign to Make Waves for the Future and join us to celebrate outgoing CEO Carrie Bornstein. Learn more and donate here.